her is an essay i wrote for school about my anxiety disorder
i hope you enjoy it
and who knows you might even learn somthing
Do you know what it’s like to live every second in fear? To keep turning around in case someone is following you everywhere at night? I do. I have an Anxiety Disorder. When I tell people this they usually don’t know what this means. Well everyone has fears which are also known as anxiety. An Anxiety Disorder pretty much means that I get scared pretty easily. Sometimes people tell me that I don’t look like I would be scared easily, but I guess that’s what they mean by looks can be deceiving. There is no cure for this disorder but there are pills I take to lower the amount anxiety I have. When I go off the pills for two days I usually get extra scared and can’t do anything because I’m too scared to. I usually skip the pill once a week.
Occasionally I go to a therapist who asks me questions on how my life is going. This helps him to prescribe my pills. He asks things like “Am I sleeping well”, “Do I feel tired a lot”, and anything else that could be a side effect. I have taken many different pills, some for my A.D.D., which is another story, and some for my Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes the pills I take don’t have a very good affect on me and I’ll have terrible side effects. From one pill my hands shook all the time. Another pill made me lose my temper really easily. Now I take Luvox.
My parents help me in different ways. They are always there for me when I need to talk about my crazy, strange fears. My parents usually help convince me that everything is going to be all right. They also keep me away from the creepy things in my life. For an example, scary movies, if my mother thinks that something’s might scare me she won’t let me see it. My dad is usually the one who takes me to therapy. He’s the one who talk to the therapist when I leave the room. My parents help me get over my fears. I remember once I got scared of going on a plane even though I was on one since I was a baby. Well I had to go visit my grandparents for Passover, and to do that I had to take a plane. Well my mom helped on the plane by giving me different surprises during the trip.
Sometimes my Anxiety Disorder gets out of control. There was one time I would not wear any of my cloths that touched my “My Size Dancing Barbie”, because I had a bad dream about it. I got over that fear luckily. Occasionally I have an anxiety attack. I can’t really explain those, but I’ll try. If I see or hear something that really scares me I will sometimes get an anxiety attack. I can’t explain the feeling, but it’s not a very good one. This happened a few times to me, and I don’t enjoy it.
Sometimes my disorder could be a good thing. I could be more cautious than most people because I’d be too scared to do things that might end up dangerous. I won’t ever take drugs or smoke, because I’d be too scared. Also when I face a fear it’s the best feeling in the world. It feels like I got straight A’s or I won the lottery. It’s the most amazing feeling ever.
It’s not all good though. For other people it might be annoying. They have to be really careful of what they say or do in front of me. If they want to tell a ghost story I usually have to leave the room. That makes me feel upset because I usually want to keep hanging out with my friends. Sometimes it’s really hard to be social and have fun at the same time. Like in Six flags, I didn’t go on many rides because I was too scared, while my friends went on practically every ride in the amusement park.
Recently I went to a gymnasium and there were a lot of things that were high and things that looked scary to me. At first I ran to a rock climbing wall that they had. I got all harnessed up and I started climbing. I was practically two feet off the ground when I got freaked out and I came down. When I left the wall I looked at everything and everything looked creepy to me. Eventually I built up some confidence and tried a few things. It felt great, and I had an awesome time, but just because I faced a few fears it doesn’t mean I am cured. I still will freak out easily.
It’s kind of hard living like this. Being afraid of everything, but I guess there are worse problems in the world. So if you ever meet a girl like me you should know a few things. One; be careful what you say. Two; be careful what you do. Three; treat them normally because everyone has a problem and even though we’re pretty much scardy cats, we still have other feelings besides fear.
Occasionally I go to a therapist who asks me questions on how my life is going. This helps him to prescribe my pills. He asks things like “Am I sleeping well”, “Do I feel tired a lot”, and anything else that could be a side effect. I have taken many different pills, some for my A.D.D., which is another story, and some for my Anxiety Disorder. Sometimes the pills I take don’t have a very good affect on me and I’ll have terrible side effects. From one pill my hands shook all the time. Another pill made me lose my temper really easily. Now I take Luvox.
My parents help me in different ways. They are always there for me when I need to talk about my crazy, strange fears. My parents usually help convince me that everything is going to be all right. They also keep me away from the creepy things in my life. For an example, scary movies, if my mother thinks that something’s might scare me she won’t let me see it. My dad is usually the one who takes me to therapy. He’s the one who talk to the therapist when I leave the room. My parents help me get over my fears. I remember once I got scared of going on a plane even though I was on one since I was a baby. Well I had to go visit my grandparents for Passover, and to do that I had to take a plane. Well my mom helped on the plane by giving me different surprises during the trip.
Sometimes my Anxiety Disorder gets out of control. There was one time I would not wear any of my cloths that touched my “My Size Dancing Barbie”, because I had a bad dream about it. I got over that fear luckily. Occasionally I have an anxiety attack. I can’t really explain those, but I’ll try. If I see or hear something that really scares me I will sometimes get an anxiety attack. I can’t explain the feeling, but it’s not a very good one. This happened a few times to me, and I don’t enjoy it.
Sometimes my disorder could be a good thing. I could be more cautious than most people because I’d be too scared to do things that might end up dangerous. I won’t ever take drugs or smoke, because I’d be too scared. Also when I face a fear it’s the best feeling in the world. It feels like I got straight A’s or I won the lottery. It’s the most amazing feeling ever.
It’s not all good though. For other people it might be annoying. They have to be really careful of what they say or do in front of me. If they want to tell a ghost story I usually have to leave the room. That makes me feel upset because I usually want to keep hanging out with my friends. Sometimes it’s really hard to be social and have fun at the same time. Like in Six flags, I didn’t go on many rides because I was too scared, while my friends went on practically every ride in the amusement park.
Recently I went to a gymnasium and there were a lot of things that were high and things that looked scary to me. At first I ran to a rock climbing wall that they had. I got all harnessed up and I started climbing. I was practically two feet off the ground when I got freaked out and I came down. When I left the wall I looked at everything and everything looked creepy to me. Eventually I built up some confidence and tried a few things. It felt great, and I had an awesome time, but just because I faced a few fears it doesn’t mean I am cured. I still will freak out easily.
It’s kind of hard living like this. Being afraid of everything, but I guess there are worse problems in the world. So if you ever meet a girl like me you should know a few things. One; be careful what you say. Two; be careful what you do. Three; treat them normally because everyone has a problem and even though we’re pretty much scardy cats, we still have other feelings besides fear.
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